• Dreams

    The ceiling laughs at my stupidity.   Waking up in a flash of pain.   Dripping in sweat.   Afraid of what the dreams were   Never knowing what they were about.   Was I running?   Was I fighting?   Did I lose the battle   or has the war just begun?  Am I fighting demons with sword and shield  or am…


  • Moments

    Running through my mind screaming through the void  No one can hear me scream but I can still hear the void  It’s always laughing at me making my memories my most hated moments  Crashing through the sadness of a life that was better before this  My mind crashing through layer after layer of happy moments  …


  • Unrest

    Sleep lines on my face  Waking up a disgrace  Never feeling rest  It all feels like a test  Letting myself down  Trying not to drown  Drown in my dreams  Flowing through the streams   My life’s greatest passions  Killed by an assassin  Only to find myself crashing  I wake up alone  Feeling so alone   In a…


  • Why don’t you hate me?

    I don’t understand You don’t love me You don’t hate me You keep me around like I’m a clown Still in love Still feeling down Regretting the days we used have Regretting the times we used to play Regretting the ways we used smile Just regretting what we used to have Regrets, regrets, regrets My…


  • Reasoning with the voices

    Burnt on the inside Raw on the outside Time feels broken Life ticking away Does time stand still in it’s moments Fleeting Does time hold on to the moment Weeping There’s time for crying There’s time for dying My insides trying to find the moments My heart dying to hold them My mind breaking and…


  • Robbed again.

    My soul smashed into a million pieces. Everything. All of it. Nothing left. Just pieces. The dust of a thousand moments blown away by the true words she didn’t say. She wouldn’t tell me why. She wouldn’t tell me when I was here bleeding my soul out to her. I, taking the blade myself to…


  • It is what it is

    My life’s a mess. I’m always stressed. It feels like my mind is rotting from time’s constant ticking and tocking never stopping. When does it end? When will I bend? Bend to the will of my pain. Bend to the will of my shame. Nothing feels the same. Nothing I can feel but pain. The…


  • Crippling thoughts

    I don’t get it. It’s been so long now and yet, I still miss her. I want to hear from her. I want to know how she’s doing. I want see her. I want to hold her. I want my every waking moments to be with her. It hurts so much knowing that she’s trying…


  • Drunk thoughts

    I said some words I didn’t regret. I said some words I did. The words they came. The words then went. I found myself angry saying the words again in agony. Realizing the stupidity. The stupidity of my sanity. I destroy myself. I destroy my life. All because I want what was lost. I want…


  • Broken Man

    Why do I even bother? My life is starting to just crash out. My life feels so very empty. I said too much yesterday but on top of that, I heard too much. So much more than I wanted to hear. I don’t want to hear the words. I hate it so much. I fucking…


  • Repeated words and phrases

    I’m some kind of stupid. I let myself do these things that I shouldn’t. She tells me these things I don’t want to hear. She knows that it hurts me but she says them because she’s happy about them. I know she is with someone else and she knows how I feel about her and…


  • I broke my heart

    I keep doing this to myself. I know it’s not what she wants but also, I’m not getting what I want. She knows I love her and yet she keeps leaving me in the “I care about you but we’re not doing that again” place. I have no idea if she’s actually happy with who…


  • Gloomy days. Gloomy thoughts.

    Walking a path unwanted is a gloomy one. I never asked for all this despair like I didn’t ask the weather to be kind to me today. The clouds telling me that the light is right there but you can’t have it this day. Those days of sun kissed happiness are behind me now. What…


  • Going at it, alone.

    Like a flower, it’s petals stand out alone while surrounded by others. I am going alone without the one I wanted by my side for this adventure. It seems stupid that I should find myself depressed to be going on vacation. Many folks constantly telling me, “Have fun and enjoy yourself!” Yeah sure. Ok. How…


  • Failure to comply

    Here I lay thinking of her still Here I lay wondering why I love her still My heart a mess My heart in distress I look at my arm A tattoo for Mom now on my arm Would she smile Would she think I’m senile Would Mom think I’m a fool Would she think I’m…