I’m basically thru. Done. Finished. The memories are going to forget stay just that. Memories. I have been told what it was, why it couldn’t, and where it didn’t. My soul is completely crush. My heart completely broken. Her happiness is different now. Learning how I truly fucked it up is the worst. It was preventable if I had just opened up and said what was in my mind and killing my heart. She says that I will forever be a part of her. I’m the one who showed her that she could be loved. I’m the one who brought her to a place of happiness but I was not the one who could keep her happy due to my sadness and fear of the world around me. She’s going to forever love me but not in the way I’d want it to be. I told her that I can truly change but it doesn’t matter to her. She doesn’t believe it and will not try it again. She wants to make what she has now last and I just want it to end. I wanted to say so much but she will not hear it. That’s on me as it’s why it ended. I didn’t say it then so why should she believe it now. She’s right in her actions and I wish I had done something right in the first place. I have to move on even if I don’t want it. I hate my life. I truly do. I know that I could have a happy future but I wanted a happy future with her.