I should be happy with myself

I should be happy in my soul

Yet all I feel is hurt

All I feel is coal

This coal ready to fire

Fire up my life

Tell me everything is going to be alright

It’s not burning

It’s not shining

It’s got no fuel to bring good tidings

What good is a heart

When your fears are misguided ?

What good is the soul

When it’s empty and tired?

I look at my life now

So cold and lonely

I realize late, it was me

The me who hates himself

The me that can’t see the good he deserves

Even when it’s shining so brightly

Why should he be happy?

Why should he smile?

The one that mattered most

The one that made him happy

Just memories now

Memories of the one he didn’t capture.

He let his emotions and fear

Get in the way of something dear

Now he’s alone starting feel like stone

Where does it go from here?

What does it even matter?

Why am I still here?